I Smell Like Testosterone
May 21, 2007 – 9:54 pmI Smell Like Testosterone
A while ago, it was determined by my main rehabilitative neurologist that a testosterone deficiency I am experiencing is due to the traumatic brain injury I suffered last year. It seems that in the majority of people with my type of injury, damage to the pituitary gland is expected and the pituitary regulates the production and or release of testosterone. Not sure, not a doctor and that is not the point of this entry.
After what seems like forever arguing with my insurance company, I now have a jell testosterone replacement that I have to rub on my shoulders each morning after a shower and then not touch my children and avoid touching my wife or other women. Seems I can bring on puberty in the kids and unwanted hair in women. While Aimee explained all of this, I realized this was an episode of a TV show called House. Anyway, I wore it for my first time today.
To my surprise this is the most non-masculine smelling stuff I have ever smelled. I feel like I am stuck in an elevator with an old woman with too much cheap perfume…. ALL DAY LONG! The stench is horrific. After two hours, I can hold my kids as long as I have a shirt on. The only problem is Andrew (my infant) now screams when I come close and Aubreyahna (my three-year-old) keeps telling me I stink.
The funny part is, I gotta put this on every morning AFTER I shower. So people are going to think that I want to smell like this! I know this sounds trivial, but add this to all of the other things in my life that have had to change thanks to this injury and I gotta sue these people. I know it isn’t a good thing to hold on to anger, but it isn’t anger. Its every couple of weeks in my life, something new and screwed up coming out of this.
First I lost my store, then x,y, and z. Now I stink like an old lady with too much perfume. I am leaving for Kentucky in the morning where I can stink on top of a hill where nobody will smell me for a while.
6 Responses to “I Smell Like Testosterone”
May I suggest first aid gloves for the initial application? It won’t help with the smell, but it might avoid the delay for the touching problem. Just a suggestion.
If you’re allergic to the powder, there are powderless gloves you can get. You should be able to find them at Wal-Mart or any pharmacy. Of course, if you are allergic to latex, well. . . . I don’t know what to suggest in that case. Sorry.
I enjoy reading your blog, by the way. Good luck with the forge.
By WonderGoon on May 26, 2007
I wonder if there is some kind of fabric you can get some shirts made from or buy that will help to block that smell? Maybe something with an almost plasticy feel like saran wrap… cheap polyesters or some such? Just thoughts, anything to try and help.
Yep, sue those bastards.
By Aislinnfae on May 26, 2007
Hey man, old lady is better that cheese. Better still than old lady cheese. Ahhh, the smell of cellulite in the morning, eww.
By cobenick on May 31, 2007
hahahahhahahhahahhaha… poor AJ
give aimee and the kids my love.. Hopefully we get to see you all soon!
By Leila on May 31, 2007
Aimee says that after I start sweating it smells sexy. Now I cant get her to stop smelling me. Also, after two hours it is harmless. Well, other than the fact that Aimee wont stop sniffing me.
Now don’t get me wrong, under different circumstances it would be nice but not while I am climbing a ladder and trying to build a building or paint some beams. Man oh man she is distracting these days.
Ug, testosterone good!
By A.J. Drew on Jun 5, 2007
I’ve worked in a pharmacy and in healthcare for the past eight years so maybe I can offer a few suggestions…first of all, there are testosterone patches available for people who can’t use the gel/cream form that you’ve been given. It delivers the medication transdermally (absorbs through the skin) and still requires a daily application, but it helps to eliminate the “eew you smell” factor. There are also injectible forms of testosterone, though getting these covered by most major medical insurance can be a bit tricky. It may take a specific authorization from your prescribing doctor, but it might be worth looking into. There are other options out there. In the meantime, the gloves are a good idea. Hope that helps
By jessica on Jun 5, 2007