How I killed Pinecone & when love is useless.
August 13, 2007 – 1:19 pmHow I killed Pinecone & when love is useless.
Pinecone died last night and I killed her. The kitten count is now down to 3 out of five. The three remaining kittens are on amoxicilin twice a day and now living in a heated box. I just got home from the Vet who determined that they were suffering from hypothermia and probably have been for some time. When I introduced solid food, it killed Pinecone and almost killed the other three. They are all still horribly sick. Evidently, mammals can not digest food unless their body temperature is high enough. In the case of kittens, giving them solid food was a horrible thing to do because their bodies could not digest it due to the hypothermia. The vet explained that a kittens body temperature should be about 100 degrees. The sickest of the three remains does not register on her thermometer.
In retrospect, I should have known this. The reason mama cats snuggle their young is because their young can not digest food without the mothers warmth. They only lived as long as they did without warmth, because I was working in Kentucky where it was in the 90s most days. When I returned to Columbus and an air-conditioned condominium, they started to decline. Having no experience with kittens, it never occurred to me that they were not growing fast enough. I was always worried they were too hot. It never occurred to me that kittens and humans require different environments for their health.
Words can not express how I feel right now. I was stupid enough to believe that all you need is love. Great song, but horrible life philosophy. Love can be a driving force, but unless it drives one towards knowledge it is useless. Yes, without intervention all five would have died, but what point is intervention when all one accomplishes is prolonged suffering? Maybe PETA and the Humane Society are right in killing so many animals each year. Maybe it is more humane to put animals down rather than extend their suffering. Maybe all these years I have just been selfish, not wanting to be the person who orders a critters death and instead causing them to suffer needlessly. I just do not know.
If the three survive, or even if only one does, maybe the suffering of the others was worth giving a full life to the others. The Vet did say that by forcing them to drink milk for its laxative properties, I might have saved the ones that lived by clearing the indigestible food. But they are not out of trouble yet and we desperately need your prayers. Please consider this; humans might seem more deserving of one’s prayers, but kittens can do nothing that would cause them to be undeserving.
11 Responses to “How I killed Pinecone & when love is useless.”
I believe we are all born innocent. It is when we go out into the world when we change and become what we are meant to become.
In my opinion animals no matter their age or size should be given unconditional love because that is what they give back to us (or most animals do). The same with children until they grow up then the children become a person unto themselves just like we all do. They may still give love but I believe most of us become “tainted” from the world and its workings.
Don’t beat yourself up over this AJ. I would think the Vet would have told you about keeping them warm and all that stuff knowing they were new borns and all.
You tried AJ and that is a lot more than others would have done.
By Rhiannon on Aug 13, 2007
I am so sorry for your loss. I am always bringing little critters home myself. I have nursed many puppies but never kittens. By posting this I think you are paving the way for those of us who have never done this before. Even if there are casualties along the way, I think what you said about even if only one makes it that it will not be in vain that the others have parished. Bast bless your babies and keep those that have passed to the rainbow bridge.
semodoxie
By semodoxie on Aug 13, 2007
Oh yeah and another thing……love is NEVER useless. It would have been worse for them to suffer neglect and parish all the sooner had you never have taken them home. At least those that have passed knew that they were loved and wanted.
semodoxie
By semodoxie on Aug 13, 2007
You’re doing the best you can AJ. They are 5 very lucky kittens. You gave them all you could and you shouldn’t feel bad if you weren’t a perfect parent to them. You know the love and care you’re giving them will at the very least give them the opportunity to thrive, and if they don’t make it. We’ll they deserved the chance.
And please don’t feel guilty. Think of the time you spent with Willie and Pinecone, I’m sure you had time with them when they were happy and content as kittens should be. They deserved the chance to fight and you gave them that. You should never feel bad about that. I’m sure in their own kitten way they are greatful for all that you did for them.
By Kim on Aug 13, 2007
(((Tears))) I’m so sorry to hear about Pinecone hon. It’s not your fault- you’ve gone above and beyond what most others would have done. You have a wonderful heart- and even though I know you’re beating yourself up over this right now, I also know that you’re the most compassionate soul I think I’ve ever met. (((Hugs)))
By Solstice on Aug 13, 2007
We are down to two. Piglet and Po-Po (he’s black and white) remain and seem to be getting better with amoxicilin and a heating pad.
By A.J. Drew on Aug 13, 2007
Its hard to lose the little ones I know. We just lost 2 of a litter of 3. It just does not seem fair does it.
By Otterkin on Aug 13, 2007
I am so sorry. But look at this way, what if you had not stopped that day and picked them up?? Not too many ppl would have taken all them in to try to raise them. you gave them their best chance and you gave them love which does matter. Tibetins have a word which I use regularly. Ahimsa -respect for every living thing. Every living thing deserves our respect and our prayers no matter how small. you and those babies have my prayers and my respect.
By gina on Aug 14, 2007
I agree with Gina, you gave them love, would they have known that even for a moment if you hadnt taken them in? You made a mistake, you have most certainly learned from the mistake and the cost is terrible, but you still showed them love. That does count from something
*hugs*
By Kili on Aug 15, 2007
Kittens are very tricky to raise. I am a cat rescuer for two different organizations and I usually have 2-7 batches of kittens to hand raise every year.
I learned the hard way that every little change in their behavior is a sign that something is wrong. Don’t be too hard on yourself, you are trying to do a good thing and none of them would have survived this long without you.
If you need any advise please email me.
By Druid_Medb on Aug 15, 2007
Thank you Druid Medb - The black and white one is doing great except that his tommy nearly exploads when I feed him. The one that was the largest almost refuses to take formula. I have gone back to semi solid food now that they are warm. I have to mix it with formula and squirt it into his mouth. He seems to LOVE the semi solid food and formula, gobbles it up when it is in his mouth and demands more. However, he will not touch solid food on his own and will not lap formula.
It is very, very odd. I am starting to think that for the next 20 years I will be hand feeding the same dang lazy cat.
By A.J. Drew on Aug 15, 2007