Adam Walks Between Worlds - An Assasination
September 25, 2007 – 11:05 amAdam Walks Between Worlds (1959-1997)
Sometime after the suicide of her 12 year old daughter Tempest, Denessa Smith said to the press that she did not see anything wrong with her daughter’s involvement in the pagan community. I believe the quote was something along the lines of “All the books talked about love and nature”. I agree, all of our books talk about love and nature. However, as you may have noticed with my various discussions here in my blog and elsewhere, it think there is a great deal more going on than what we read in these books.
This entry on Adam Walks Between Worlds is an attempt to illustrate that point. It is not an enditement against any person. As far as I know, his murder remains a mystery. But he was a member of our community and he was murdered. We are not exempt from violent crimes simply because we are pagan.
Feb. 20, 1997 - Adam was shot execution style with no signs of forced entry into his home. His body was found either inside or outside his home (depending on the article you read) in Orange Country, CA. There was no evidence of robbery, there were no firearms found in the home, and so the motivation behind his murder is listed most often as a mystery. Obviously someone wanted Adam Walks Between Worlds dead. But why?
At the age of 36, when his life was abruptly ended, Adam Walks Between Worlds was a member of the O.T.O. and Church of All Worlds. Known variously as Adam Rostoker, Adam Walks Between Worlds, and just Adam; he was the Official Bard of the Church of All Worlds until just prior to this murder.
To the best of my knowledge, this assassination of a man who has been described as one of the greatest Bards the modern pagan community has ever known is still a mystery. I have received emails, whispers of why someone might have wanted the man put to death. But those emails contain no substantiating facts to support their claims.
So in the hopes that someone can shed light on this loss to the pagan community, if anyone has information on the assassination of Adam Walks Between Worlds, the events leading to his assassination, or information concerning events just prior to his assassination, please share your information here or via email to:
Ajdrew at PaganNation dot com
6 Responses to “Adam Walks Between Worlds - An Assasination”
I talked to Adam via AOL a year or two before he died. He was courteous and very helpful and I felt honored to have spoken with him.
I was a member of CAW at that point and I remember when his death was announced. There was definitely some kind of scandal going on having to do with him but I was never very clear what it was. It seems that some folks thought he was guilty of various sexual improprieties. Not having to do with kids, just adults, but I also remember reading an article by him in Green Egg in which he discussed his relationship with the God Pan and how that sometimes came out in his sexual relationships and I wonder now whether there weren’t misunderstandings having to do with that. Alternatively he may have just used the God as an excuse for bad behavior. I don’t know, I wasn’t there.
But IIRC he was either suspended as a CAW member or out and out kicked out of CAW shortly before he died because of those misbehavior allegations.
There was an organization that I think was called R-CAW, Reformed Church of All Worlds, operating out of Oregon. I think they changed their name to present as some kind of Druid organization but I don’t remember what their new name was. They apparently knew Adam and were really bitter about his ouster from CAW and his murder. Certain people within CAW, meanwhile, got to be really paranoid about R-CAW trying to “infiltrate” CAW and cause trouble. (Nobody high up in the organization–I don’t think the one or two folks I saw talking about it were higher than Scion status, or Second Ring.) It was bizarre.
Some of us thought it might have been a jilted-lover situation, for what it’s worth. Since it’s been over ten years, we’re not likely to find out for sure at this point, I don’t think.
By Dana on Sep 27, 2007
Diana - Thank you. Yes, that is very close to what I had heard from folk who worked with the Toledo folk. A bit more, but not anyone that ever said they thought he was guilty, just folk who said that there was a rumor about this and that it led to his assasination.
By any chance do you know when it was that Oberon Zell left CAW in relationship to this event? Not that I have been told they are connected, but I do find it odd if he left during the time of this assasination that he later returned right after the death of the president of CAW at the time, the law suit threats that preceeded that death, and the resignaiton of the entire CAW board en mass right before that death.
Let me be 100% clear, I am not saying I think that Oberon Zell or any body of CAW has been responsible for murder or other criminal activities. It is just odd that in our community of peace and love, there seems to be assasination and hostile law suits, and the likes surrounding the leadership of our public organizations.
By A.J. Drew on Sep 27, 2007
Some how this smacks of being a crime of passion, maybe?? or a jilted lover exacting revenge?
By gina on Sep 30, 2007
I knew Adam well, I was there for all the hubbub around his being kicked out of CAW, and last saw him a month or so before his death (which is my mind is clearly murder and not “assassination”) . Here’s my take:
Adam was brilliant, talented, well-loved by many, and one of the keenest magcickal minds I’ve ever come across. He was also deeply, deeply flawed in significant ways. The rumors of sexual inproprieties aren’t just rumors. They were real. He took advantage of many people (women and men), and crossed many boundaries that should never have been crossed. And the worst part of it was how unwilling he was to look at how his behavior was affecting people, and how he absolutely refused to take any responsibility for his actions.
Who actually killed him remains a mystery primarily because there are SO MANY people who might have wanted to see him dead. But really, all it takes is for him to have some sort of encounter (sexual or otherwise) with the wrong person and have it all end up the way it did. Perhaps it was a biker who’s wife had sex with Adam and the dude wanted revenge. Could have been he ripped off someone he was buying pot from (which had happened before) and was shot for that. Who knows? There are so many reasons he might have been killed, the cops didn’t know where to start. I think that says enough about what kind of life Adam was leading those last few months of his life.
And honestly, after what I experienced personally and had seen happen to people close to me, it didn’t surprise me one bit.
As far as Oberon’s leaving CAW around this event, in my experience there’s no connection. His leaving had to do with interpersonal politics that stemmed from many other things that had nothing to do with Adam. Though it’s worth saying that the “Adam issue” was a strain on everyone in CAW at the time, so in that sense it might have played a small part in the stuff with Oberon and CAW.
By bobbywasabi on Jan 11, 2008
bobbywasabi - At first I wanted to scold you about he biker reference, but then I decided it was a compliment. Yep, I could see killing a man over something like that if he knew my wife was mine. I think it is sad that with all of the pagan communities stated accepting of other cultural values, we do not tend to bother respecting cultural values belonging to groups we do not belong to. So yep, I could definatly see something like that happening to a person as you have described.
By A.J. Drew on Jan 12, 2008
I spent the entire summer with Adam right before he was killed. My partner at the time and I were very young, impressionable, and excited… I believe the CAW community saw us as Adam’s young hangers-on, and tried to keep us out of the firestorm. We were not stupid, however. Adam was brilliant, but he was also secretive and manipulative. He created a mythology around himself that was as large and complex as his ego– wounded in the military, trained in neurolinguistic programing, an initiate of magical orders, a ghost writer of books… and on and on.
Adam was highly sexual, and did not hesitate to use all of his abilities toward seduction; I was one of many who later asked myself “why on earth did I sleep with this man?” He used power differentials to his advantage– he believed strongly in consent, but also believed that consent was something to be won. Many people, perhaps particularly in the trusting and sexually open Pagan community, are not used to being seduced. When complaints started coming in, Adam’s own oh-so-powerful-magician mythos backfired on him. He was painted as a monster, and maybe, in some respects, he was.
In my own experience, although he was persuasive and flattering, Adam was equally gentle and kind. When I was inebriated, which happened often during that summer of learning my limits, he took care of me rather than taking advantage of me. When I said no he sulked, but he never pushed. From Adam I learned a great deal about the power of my sexuality– while taking a trip through the depths of my niavete. Adam could not be trusted to reveal his past in linear detail, to be exactly who he said he was– his persona was a spell, constantly recreated and re-cast. But for me, at least, he could be trusted with weakness and vulnerability.
He was an extremely charismatic performer, feeding off the energy of the crowd to fuel his music. He had a deep insecurity, although few saw it, and was extremely emotional, highly sensitive, and prone to depression. The persona of the “official bard,” which he developed over the course of the two years that I knew him, brought him adulation and respect that he craved. It also hemmed him in, and made him accountable for his actions in ways for which he was not prepared. When the shit finally hit the fan, and several people whom Adam had considered friends turned against him, his anger and feelings of betrayal were fierce. His reaction did not include humility– he lashed out in anger and outrage. Adam never did truly understand what had gone wrong; toward the end of his life he was moving on, but remained bitter and deeply hurt.
I will always think of Adam as the King of Cups– the archetype from a tarot reading that I did for him at midsummer. At that point the lustre had worn off, he had stopped trying to impress me with his mythic power, I had stopped sleeping with him, and our friendship was deepening. I explained the card as I saw it– all of that emotion, creativity, and power channeled into a position of social standing and responsibility that ultimately limited him. When I told him that the dark side of the card was secrecy and manipulation, he looked at me in shock and mock hurt and asked “you think I’m manipulative?” I just looked at him and he knew– I was on to him. I still loved him, but I was on to him. He respected me more for it.
It has been eleven years since Adam was killed. He influenced me in my most formative years as few others did. My life has been much simpler without him, but I miss him terribly.
By Victoria Larson on May 6, 2008