The Yeti\’s Cyber Smithy

I am an International Arms Dealer who is stockpiling weapons

So I have a new doctor today. Aimee went with me because I am no good at remembering things on the fly. The only reason I remember anything with preparation is because Aimee gives me lists on 3 by 5 index cards. Anyone who has seen me in public since the accident (a rare occasion I know) has probably noticed those 3 by 5s or the fact that my wife hardly leaves my side now a days. Ok, I am on my own at shows but lets face it; all I have to do there is be big, sweaty, and yell silly things now and then. Of course even then I tend to get into trouble. It’s weird. It’s like there are all these social rules that everyone knows but somebody forgot to tell me. Like, well your not allowed to kick peoples asses even when they deserve it. Back to the ramble… uh I mean thread.

I am very glad Aimee was there because I tend to say things which are entirely inappropriate for the moment. Now sometimes this is funny. Being this was a new doctor, there was the obligatory Q and A with the nurse. She was short btw. Very, very short. When she measured my height (6’ 3” this time), she needed help getting the thing on top of my head. When she measured my weight (297 lbs) she checked and double-checked. I think she was thinking; damn that is three of me.

During that new patient Q & A with the nurse, one of the questions was if I take street drugs. I told her that I don’t ever put anything in my mouth that hit the ground. That would be an example of the type of things that just pop into my mind and fly out of my mouth. Things that are completely in appropriate to say for a giving setting. Fortunately, Aimee, myself, and even the nurse thought that one was funny. Sometimes, I am not so fortunate. She asked why it was that I needed a new primary care giver (family doctor). That would be one of those times that I am not so fortunate.

Aimee explained the problem with our insurance. Aimee explained the dissatisfaction my neurologist has expressed with my primary care giver. I mentioned that the last time I was there, they called the police. Aimee told me to shut up. Later, Aimee bitched me out and we concluded that the police were not probably called by the doctor’s office. That more likely, someone outside the doctor’s office called them because in that neighborhood it looks odd for a 297 lbs 6’ 3” man with a full beard to be hiding under a tree crying hysterically. I can see Aimee’s point.

On one of the next questions was about exercise & employment (which sometimes translates into exercise). In retrospect, that is when I am most grateful for Aimee to have been there. She immediately announced that I exercise my ass off during spring, summer and fall because I am a blacksmith but not so much during the winter months. I was glad Aimee chimed in because my favorite answer is that I am an International Arms dealer, but in the winter months I mainly just stockpile arms. As you can imagine, even though that is my little joke based on having shipped handmade knives and swords overseas; after the comment about needing a new doctor because the last one called the police; well that might not have been nearly as funny.

So you are this 90 lbs. female nurse who stands 5 foot something small. You are interviewing this new patient who is you’ve never met before. He is almost 300 pounds, stands 6’3” and towers over you. His medical records are in front of you, you are updating them, and right about the time you find that he has brain damage. Right about that time, he mentions being an International Arms dealer who needs a new doctor because the last one called the police on you. I am fairly sure you can see how that would cause a person some pause & that is the real point of this little ramble. I think I finally get this little aspect of what has changed since the brain injury. I described it earlier as not caring about things.

It is not that I would have enjoyed further scaring the hell out of the nurse. It just never occurred to me that the words coming out of my mouth would matter to her so much as to frighten her. Why? Well, they wouldn’t frighten me. I don’t think I am generally capable of thinking beyond the moment anymore. Not on the automatic level that most people are. If I sit down and think on everything I say, then I can use logic to decide what is a good thing and what is not a good thing to say.

In talking to the nurse, I just thought it was a funny story. It never occurred to me that she might think it made me scary. Now that Aimee explains it to me, I get it but only in retrospect. It does me no good for the next time. Hence the reason I tend to avoid going out into public without Aimee. You see she’s got those eyes. The ones that say; Shut up A.J. or I am going to hurt you. Friends don’t have those eyes. Friends eyes say something more like: I can’t believe you just said that.