The Yeti\’s Cyber Smithy

The rumor about my Penis

It seems there is a rumor that my penis is huge. I want to address this rumor and assure you that I am absolutely normal in size. How did the rumor start? Well, it was at a bachelorette party when a bunch of guys were taking off their cloths. Nope, I wasn’t one of those men. The only time I have been around strippers at such an event, I was the young ladies security and it was a bachelor party rather than a bachelorette party.

Anyway, it seems that because we had taken Bubba to a strip club for his bachelor party, the women folk insisted on bringing Bubbette to a strip club for bachelorette party. The thing is, from what I understand the penis size f the people who stripped at both clubs was about the same. The problem being that the men went to watch women strip, so seeing no penis what so was kind of expected. The women folk had expected a bit, well a bit more because they had gone to joint where the guys take off their clothes.

Oddly enough, it seems the reason the club had a bunch of men who didn’t measure up to the women folks expectation was that it was a gay club. Yep, in fact being female they had to pay a premium at the door. Now I have no clue if this is true or not, but from what I have been told the club specializes in showing off young men to older men and that has something to do with the models they pick, perhaps there is a cultural reason for the size thing. I don’t know.

Indecently, they complained about his to no end; claiming it was a horrible sexist thing. I thought it odd as I’d never heard one of them complain about the clubs that charge more for men to get in. Back to the story of my normal sized penis.

So the story goes, the women folk then started talking to each other about the size of their men’s penis. I don’t know if it was my wife who started the discussion, but who ever it was the story started and continued in reference to what was on stage. Basically, if that is big then my husband is enormous. Ah, but that (of course) is not how the story reached us men folk. Every woman wanted her man to feel good about the conversation, so I imagine when the man heard the story he was further complimented.

Of course the next step in this story is that when the subject came up, every man shared what his wife had told him. Of course we probably each glorified the story once again. So the description of each of our penis was first created in comparison to that of someone who was underaverage, probably for a cultural reason. It was then glorified by our wives and then reglorified by our selves. By the time it got out side of our own circle, we were all King Kong and from what I understand, Landfree (aka Charlie) was the Kingest of the Kongs.

Here is the truth. When I was a teenager I read something in Cosmo about the average size of the American penis and I measured. I was right at average. Twenty years later, Cosmo had an article about the average size of the American penis and I measured again. I was a little bit larger than average. So because I do not remember what the average was stated t be in the article from my teen years, I conclude one two things is going on.

1) My penis is growing.
2) The average American penis is shrinking.

So I started thinking, maybe it wasn’t a cultural bias that caused the performers to seem to be unusually small. It occurred to me that most of the performers at that strip club were described as not only having a very small penis, but being very young. If the women report this accurately, it does seem entirely possible that the size of men’s penis in America is getting statistically smaller with each new generation.

So I asked a doctor if it is possible for a man’s penis to grow. After a few rather silly comments, I realized I needed to refine my query. Yes, sir. My penis does grow when I am sexually aroused. Yes, sir I know it is normal for a penis to grow when the owner is sexually aroused. What I meant to ask is if it is possible for the size of a man’s penis at a state of full erection to become larger as he grows from late teen to adult. He then thought I was asking about natural male enhancement and explained how that works.

Evidently, it is not conventionally possible to increase the full potential size of a man’s erect penis. Once the man is matured into his body, the erectile tissues are the largest they will ever become an they won’t shrink either. However, the amount of blood that will enter them and retain their will change with health issued and age. Thus, those pills which claim to be natural male enhancement and yada yada can work if you are deficient in some nutrients and most people are in fact deficient in those and other nutrients. So eating right will have the effect of making your penis larger.

I also learned that this can effect the flaccid size because believe it or not, the flaccid size of a man’s penis (a genetic factor) is determined by blood flow as well. Evidently, if your genes come from colder climates you will probably have a smaller flaccid penis than if your genes come from warmer climates. I speculated that this could explain the whole African and Japanese large penis story. Oddly, he fell into a discussion of proportions and that a normal sized penis on a small man would seem larger. Being African, I think he was trying to ignore the fact that I just asked him if he had a large penis.

Round and round the conversation went until finally he understood what I was trying to uncover. No, the women could not possibly have observed that those strippers were underendowed because they were younger than their men. If they were old enough to strip, they were as developed in that department as they would ever be. So, yes it is possible that the average size of the American penis is shrinking.

I, for one, am alarmed. Kind of happy. But alarmed none the less. I think Congress should immediately look into the possibility that our water supply has been contaminated by penis terrorists. I think our military should be alerted to the idea that there are forces who seek to rob the American penis. I mean think about it, if the only take an inch away from every American male and you add all those inches together, I am sure you could circle the Midwest or something. That is a lot of penis to loose.

Ok, right about now you all think I have fallen off my rocker. So I will confess a few things. Great large portions of this blog entry were entirely made up because I thought it was a fun thing to do. But that doesn’t mean that there is not a rumor around Pagan Nation that I have a big dick and Charlie’s is even bigger (you bastard). I don’t think it is as true as anyone thinks because these sizes were compared to men who were under average. In fact, the only person at Pagan Nation who I know has been rated fairly in that department is Sangathor. From what I hear, he is enormous!

So why did I make this post if most of it is made up? This post is entirely for Tim in reply to his Comment on another post

Ha!