What do you do when your friend’s wife cheats on him?
March 10, 2008 – 6:29 pmWhat do you do when your friend’s wife cheats on him?
In a situation where a husband and wife are in a stately monogamous relationship, if you are friends with one of them and the other one has repeatedly used you, your family, and your friends as a cover story to carry out an extramarital affair; what do you do?
Should you tell your friend? What if they are both your friends? Do you have loyalty to protect a friend by allowing yourself, family, and friends to be used for the cover up? Do you refuse to allow yourself to be used, but not out the affair?
Is not telling that friend (lack of action) an action (lie) of its own? Nothing against open relationships, but flat lies just seem wrong.
6 Responses to “What do you do when your friend’s wife cheats on him?”
Leis are wrong. BUT there comes a time when one needs to know when too much knowledge is a bad thing.
I this case I would back out of the whole situtation. Do not allow yourself or your family to be used as a cover.
This will only end you up in deep shit.
Telling your friend is going to end you up in deep shit.
Not telling and he finds out is going to end you up in deep shit.
Any way you look at it you are in deep shit.
By Rhiannon on Mar 11, 2008
I agree with Rhiannon! Youll be the bad guy no matter what so get out an save your self the drama!Been there done that! yep I was hated by both in the end. Since then whenever I feel like im being used i pull out immmediately! The thing that hurt was they were both good friends an havent spoken with them since! just my 2 cents! Blessed Be!
By Rabitchka on Mar 14, 2008
you should do whatever you truly believe you should. That way you are being authentic to yourself, which is always the most important.
By fehujibran on Mar 15, 2008
WOW! This happened to me kinda… My step aunt told me she was going to leave my uncle, whom I was very close to. I was also close two his two girls (my cousins). Well I waited for her to do whatever it was she was going to do. I mean what if I had said something and she had changed her mind ya know? So I waited until after it all happened then I spilled my guts. I told them all everything I knew about it. That way I wasnt keeping any secrets, but I wasnt getting involved in anyones marriage either. Well one of my cousins hates me now and wont even speak to me, all the way to the point of not even attending my sons birthday parties, and the other cousin and I have worked our issues out but arent so close anymore. I no longer really speak to my uncle, and my step aunt is well I never ever talk to her. It sucks.
I say you just tell said person that if you hear of them using you or your family for said affairs again you will blow their cover on the excursions. BUT keep out of it. Use it as a threat to uninvolve yourself from the situation and leave it at that. In my expierence any relationship that starts bad, will end bad. It will all come out in its due time and if you are involved in it THEN, then it will be a bad situation for you and your family. BUT if you are brought up in the situation afterwards, explain your side and say you just had no desire to involve yourself in anyone elses marriage, just as you wouldnt want anyone else in yours. But I think if you threaten said person with blowing their cover, they will no longer use you as an excuse, OR they may even feel threatened by you and tell their spouse themselves out of fear. Just my idea though. Blessings
By Briena on Mar 16, 2008
Here is the thing, when you talk to people about things like this, they tend to bring up topics like ethics; what is the right thing to do. The thing is, it always seems to teeter on which one is your friend. So I think it is usually more a matter of loyalty to a friend more than a matter of ethics, people just like to say it is ethics that guides their decision. Basically, people will lie when doing so seems like it is in the better interest of their friends or tell the truth when it is in the better interest of their friends.
My main interest in talking about this is that like religion, I like to examine ethics. I really think this is an example of where ethics are often cited but what is really going on is loyalty to friends is in play. Maybe loyalty to friends is the real ethic, one that trumps the truth.
By A.J. Drew on Mar 16, 2008
I think that Rabitchka and Rhiannon both have it down..I also thinks it just a lil unfair for your friend to use you in this manner..If they want to shit in their own nest, then thats their thing.. they should not try to shit in yours to cover their own asses..IMHO
By gina on Mar 16, 2008